14 September 2018

Are You a Victim of MS

Thanks to everyone who completed my survey, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. 

A number of topics came from the responses, but the biggest response, is that you want someone to find a cure for MS. 

Yes, I agree, it would be great if they find a cure, but putting your energy into wanting someone else to find a cure, honestly, is a waste of your energy. Go put that energy into your kids, your partner, or yourself.

Focusing on wanting to find a cure for ms also means that you are suffering from, and a victim of MS, and MS is undoubtedly controlling your life. Don’t get me wrong, there was a period where I too was a victim and suffered from MS, but you need to be able to move past this mentality, quickly, if you want any chance of living your best life. 

When you are a victim, you have made the decision that you are suffering from the worst disease in the world because you have MS, that nobody understands you or your disease, or how tired and exhausted you are all the time.

You had the opportunity to ask for advice on how to live a better life when you have MS, and you could have asked me any questions at all, and while I did receive a few great questions that I have responded to personally, the biggest question was, when will they find a cure for MS?

You have ms, that’s it, and that’s all it is. Why make it any bigger than it is?

Yes it’s a shitty disease, and I don’t want it just as much as you don’t want it, and I don’t want to dismiss your version of MS and how it is effecting you, but the quicker you can move on from thinking this way, the sooner you will start living your life again.

I’ve had a friend who was diagnosed with cancer and died within 6 months, and another friend who’s baby died from an extremely rare disease at 10 months old. But I also have friends who think their life is over when they get a cold. 

When were you diagnosed with MS? 

You do need to give yourself time, and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, just don’t let life pass you by. I encourage you to stop being a victim and start living your life, whatever that looks like for you. Your MS diagnosis would be a blessing for some people in the world, especially my friend who died from cancer, and my friend who lost their baby. It was definitely a blessing for me in my life, and I believe I am actually better for having the disease.

The sooner you stop focussing on the problem, and start focussing on what, and who, you already have in your life, focus on what does work for you, and focus on all your good parts, that are working, you will start to see that your life, and your problems, aren’t as bad as your head is allowing you to think they are.

You don’t need to accept it, and you can be unhappy about your disease, but be ok with not accepting it, and be ok about being unhappy about it, then move on with your life. 

I don’t love ms, but ms is a part of me, and I have plenty of parts of me that aren’t great, and while I would prefer not to have some of those parts, they make up who I am, and I love who I am.

The sooner you start loving who you are, MS and all, the sooner you start seeing life in a different light. You start seeing opportunities where there were none previously, you start seeing the beauty in each day, even when it is cold and wet and you are exhausted from MS, and you start realising that there is so much to be grateful for in the life you already have, instead of the one you want. 

Some of the other responses I received, ‘How do you stay motivated along your journey to living your best life’, ‘How do I deal with anxiety and anger around my diagnosis’.

When asked about what is your definition of living your best life, a beautiful response was this ‘Being healthy, happy and being active is my definition of my best life. Quite simply, a happy healthy mum +happy healthy kids = good life. I love the outdoors...my calm and happy place is on the beach/by the sea. I try to get there when I have any down time. It is so important to try to eliminate stress and toxicity from my life and stay healthy. Life will always have its challenges so I realise I have choices and decisions to make that will help me get to where I need to be’.

You see, life is what it is, the good, the bad and the ugly, and it is also what you make of it. You are the one who gets to decide if you want to make it your best life, or if you want to suffer, be a victim, and make your life, and no doubt the life for those around you, an unenjoyable experience.

It is super short, make your time here worth it, and enjoy what you are able to do with it. 

Tana x

25 July 2018

Did You Dress Up Like Mum?

Do you remember when you were a child, and you wanted to dress up like mum, put make-up on, wear her heels around, and try and look older. As you grew into your teens, you were still dressing up, experimenting with make-up, and most definitely not dressing up like mum, but all you wanted was to be older.

Now as an adult, you will hear yourself reminding your kids not to wish their life away, wanting to be older, and wishing you yourself were younger again.

As an adult, you are able to decide what clothes you wear, whether or not you wear make-up, and how you show up in life, every day. You now have the ability to make a decision to eat healthy, or not, exercise, or not, work, holiday, etc, and everything else that goes into your life, you get to decide.

Why is it then, that you aren’t making the best decisions to make the most of your life?

Why is it then, that you are allowing your MS to take over your life, and for some reason, your ability to make critical decisions about your life, is no longer there.

For some reason, you have decided to give up on you, and give up on all the good you have going on in your life. 

I hear that you’re busy, you have too much going on, you don’t have time, or money to do anything different. Your life, is what it is, and there is nothing you can do about it.

What if there is something you can do about it.

What if you could be living the life you actually want to be living.  

What if you decided that having MS was actually a good thing, and it just is what it is, and that’s all it is?  

My life actually changed for the better when I was diagnosed with MS.  

While I had a pretty good outlook on life as a young 20 year old, my diagnosis was the kick I needed, to realize that life is short, and I need to make the most of it.  

Over the years I worked out what I needed to keep doing in order to decrease my chances of having a relapse. Increase my exercise, improve my diet, and make a huge mental shift to see that my MS diagnosis doesn’t define me, having MS is just a part of me and my life.  

As adults we can make life so much harder than it really needs to be.  

Why not just make a change in the way you think.  

Start saying yes to opportunities, and start trying new things. Sometimes the only way to find out what you are unable to do, is to try, but don’t let the fact that you have MS stop you from actually trying, that’s the fun part.  

There will be certain things you might be unable to do, fine, get over it, there are so many other things you can do, so go do them.  

It is really easy to focus on the negative, and the down side of MS, but take a look outside, can you see the sun, or the sky? And look in the mirror, if your head is still on, you're breathing, you are alive.  

You have so much to be thankful for, focus on that, and get on with life.  

Life is now, make yours count.  

Tana x  

14 July 2018

How many ads do you watch?  

We very rarely watch TV in our house. I don’t watch the news and to be honest, I don’t keep up to date with current affairs or celebrity gossip, as important as it may be!  

A long time ago I worked out my priorities and decided the best use of my time wasn’t sitting in front of the tv watching what was going on in someone else’s life. The news seems to be on repeat most days and generally if it was actually important, I will hear about it somehow.  

In years gone by, I did listen to the radio and watch the news with interest, and back in the day, I made a point of being home in time for the main news at 6pm.  

That was until I reached a point where I decided I am wasting my life doing this, even when I need some down time. I was actually just dumbing down my life.  

It’s not that I don’t care about what’s going on, and how poorly people are treated around the world, but the reality is, there isn’t much I can do to change the situation right here, right now.  

What I can do right here, right now, is change the life for the two little people in my life, who need a mum, and need to know I am there for them, and not distracted by making the news more important than they are.  

I want my kids growing up knowing that they are important, and that they deserve to be a higher priority in my life than whatever is going on, on the TV (or phone).  

Often, with people I have worked with, the conversation will be around what happened on the news, be it an accident, murder, bombing, or what happened in sports news, will be the main topic of conversation. Every.Single.Day!  

Don’t even get me started on the weather.  

While there is nothing wrong with those conversations, as it can be a great way to relate to others, or to get a conversation started with someone. I’ll ask you a question, is your conversation helping, or making the world a better place because you are having it?  

Think about it, what actually changes when you have those conversations. You talk about it, possibly get angry, or share a point of view, and then you both go about your day, or you have that same conversation with the next person.  

Again, it’s unfortunate, many of the events taking place in the world, harming the human race, but what if you started having conversations about what you are passionate about, and really listen to your workmate and find out about what makes them tick.  

Couldn’t that be a better use of your time?  

How much time are many of those same people not spending listening to their kids, or telling them to be quiet because the news is on?  

Do you hear yourself even saying those words to your own kids, much like your parents said to you.  

You can’t control what is happening on the news, but you can control what is happening to the little people in your life.  

Take the time to build, play, engage and learn with your kids.  

I am definitely not the world’s greatest mum, but I know when I have the opportunity to influence the two little people in my life, I am going to give them my full attention.  

Remember this, we all get one life, and we all get 24 hours in every day. Make each one of those hours count.  

Life is now, make yours count.  

Tana x  

14 June 2018

Ouch, that hurt!

Boundaries  

Have you ever found yourself in the situation where someone close to you, either in your work or personal life, always says yes?

You have a relationship that just seems to work. You know you can count on each other, and you do as much for them, as they do for you.

Then one day, almost out of the blue, they say no!!!

Seriously WTF!?! Did they just say no? 

I don’t think I can actually comprehend what they are saying, they always say yes. Inside I feel hurt, a little lost, and that they have just whacked me with a boot, yet I am still struggling to understand why.

I actually like that they set a boundary, what I’m not so sure about, is that they are setting one with me? I’m ok with them having a boundary with everyone else, but we have this thing going.

After my initial hurt, and thinking it was all about me, which it wasn’t, I realised I needed to take a step back from the situation (I like to analyse things), and see it for what it is. They had lots going on, and saying no to me was protecting them and their workload, not anything to do with me and my request.

When someone you respect sets a boundary with you, don’t take it personally, see it as an opportunity for your own growth. 

As good as I think I am at setting boundaries, sometimes I find it hard to say no. I can feel like I am hurting them, in much the same way as I felt hurt. I have moments where as a 39 year old woman, I still want people to like me, and feel like I say yes way too often, in order to please others.

Life is definitely about learning, I am up for continuous improvement, and am ok with where I am at. There might be more yes’s then I would like, but I am also happy with the no’s I give out, in order to protect myself, and keep my boundaries intact.

Tana x 

6 May 2018

Are you there Tana?  

I’ve been missing in action over the past month, I apologise if you have been waiting for an email from me.

Don’t worry, it hasn’t been my MS that has kept me quiet. On a personal front, other than Simons dad going in for open heart surgery (he was finally allowed back home today), an auntie died unexpectedly, as did a close friend of the family, a nephew was rushed to hospital, and earlier this week, my brother-in-law flew back to the UK after receiving an urgent call from his Mom, letting him know his father is dying. Let’s just say the last month, was a big month, emotionally.

On a business and coaching front, there is lots going on. We are planning for our next 7 day challenge, I am close to 20,000 words into writing my first book ‘Loving MS’, and I will soon be looking for participants in my Case Studies, and next 1-1 coaching program. If you are interested in any of these, hit reply and I will send you the details.

Do you keep showing up for everyday life, or do you go missing in action? 

For me, while I went missing in action from my regular posts, I needed to focus on everyday life, as I still have two little ones who needed my attention. I also made sure I took some time out for me, not only to process everything going on in life, but to give myself the room, and the time to recharge, and be able to continue showing up every day. 

How do you handle life when it gets busy, or gets too much? Are you able to recognise when you need a hand, or when you need time out? What are the signals you look for?

When there are several unexpected events in your life, it is hard to plan for them, so you need to adjust course slightly, and give each event the attention it deserves. When you need to make way for these unexpected events, it then makes getting your own down time, all the more important.In adjusting, and fitting in time for you, work out what can be shared, paused, or dropped, even if only for a short period, and who can help you out.  

I had kids going to friend’s houses, I missed out on some basketball, and stopped writing a regular posts for a few weeks. I continued coaching my regular clients, and putting my energy into preparing for the upcoming case studies, and writing my book, but something had to give.

And don’t worry, I still beat myself up for certain things in life, as much as I coach others not to, I still do it. Yes I feel like I let you down in not being regular with my writing, but I have to deal with that. I know that being exhausted will bring on my MS symptoms, so I need to be rock solid in making sure I don’t exhaust myself.

This past month has been a great reminder of just how important family is. Make sure you are taking time out for you, but also taking time out, and being present, with your family all the time you are with them, as that time is extremely precious.

If you have a family member close, go and give them a hug.

Tana x  

15 May 2018

Open Heart Surgery

My partner’s father has recently gone through open heart surgery.

His family has a history of heart related disease, and he had a heart attack over 30 years ago. After much investigation, he basically only had one option. Open heart surgery, or he may have less than 30 days to live. 

It really is quite amazing what they are able to do in surgery. They have taken arteries from his legs and arms used to bypass arteries that were blocked in his heart, and have given him a pig’s valve.  

It started me thinking about life, and what we do when it gets too hard. 

Are you the type of person that looks for another way around the problem or challenge you are facing, or do you go with the other option and give in all together? 

Simon’s (my partner) father could have decided some time ago after meeting with specialists, not to investigate the option of having open heart surgery, and roll the dice, and see how long he would live for. And then a month ago, he was told he only had 30 days or so left to live, so technically, his life could be over now as I write this. 

He decided he wanted to be around for longer, and that at 82, he still has lots of life to live.

With grandchildren at various ages, his own children spread over the world, and his wife’s mother living until she was 96, so his wife is potentially going to be around for another 20 years or so, he has plenty to live and give, and no one was ready for him to go either.

When I was first diagnosed with MS, and from speaking to so many with MS, I completely understand that feeling of wishing life would be different, or that I don’t want to look at all the potential there is in life. 

Sometimes all we can see is the darkness, and that the only problem in the world is our MS, and nothing else, no matter how big or bad it might be matters.

When you feel like that, let yourself be ok with those feelings, rather than trying to resist them. You will know the saying, ‘what you resist, persists’. Feel what you are feeling, how does it feel? Are you sad, do you feel heavy in your stomach, or your heart, maybe you get pains over your body when you are feeling like this. 

What-ever it is, feel it, understand it, and be ok with it. You could even rate it between 0-10. If you are having your worst day ever, that might feel like a 10, as compared to when you are feeling great, it would be a 0.

When you rate yourself, you will then get a good understanding of whether or not you need to hide from the world for the day, or if it’s a great day to be out in the world (let’s forget for a moment that when you feel at your worst, and rate yourself 10 out of 10, it is probably the best time to get out in the world, in order to feel better, but that’s for another day).

As you come to understand your feelings on any particular day or in any situation, you then can understand how you need to deal with those feelings. In our busy lives, we think we need to keep going day in and day out, and that we don’t have time to feel the way we do.

It definitely takes time, but if you give yourself the time you need, then you will come back to the world more ready and able to deal with life as it comes your way. If you continue to try and squash your feelings down into some deep dark place within you, they will erupt when you least expect it.

We all get a choice on how we want to live this life. I love being able to use my experience with MS to help others see, that whatever cards you have been dealt in this life, you are the only one that gets to decide how you wish to play them. 

I would love everyone to love their life and live it to the fullest each and every day, but I also know, it is absolutely normal, and ok, to have down days, be at peace with them, and then pick yourself up, and get back out there. 

Here’s to living life on your terms. 

Tana x

23 April 2018

Have You Caught Any Thoughts Recently?

Apparently we have between 50-70,000 thoughts in a day, meaning we have over 35 thoughts every minute??? What!?!  

That’s right, over 35 thoughts every minute.  

Crazy right?  

Did you wonder why you spend much of your time being distracted?  

Try staying focused in between those 35 thoughts, and if you’re an over achiever, you will have plenty more than that.  

When you have a thought, some will disappear as quickly as they arrive, others will stay for short while, and some are in it for the long hall.  

For those thoughts that do hang around, have a think about this (make that 36 thoughts in a minute)?  

Are they healthy thoughts, or are they destructive, as in, are they helping you grow as a human being, or are they holding you back.  

The way you analyse your thoughts has the power to change your life completely.  

For every thought, you will have at least one, but usually more feelings associated with that thought. Now multiply each feeling by the number of thoughts you have, and that’s a lot of emotion going into your day.  

Any wonder you are exhausted at the end of the day.  

Think about your destructive thoughts being like bait on a fishing line, used to catch fish, or thought bait.  

It may be a jealous, angry or resentful thought, but once you have taken the bait, do you then feed it until it spirals out of control?  

Here’s what I mean.  

Let’s use your MS as an example. You manage your MS the best way you know how, and life is going as good as it can be. Then you have a thought (thought bait), about one day when things may not be going so well.  

At that very moment, you have an opportunity to continue to feed that thought, and turn it into a destructive thought, about your life being over, or needing 24 hour care in order to survive, or you can decide to recognise how that thought makes you feel, and move on with your life going well for you right now.  

The same can be for any jealous, angry or resentful thoughts. You can fuel those thoughts and turn yourself inside out, thinking about all the reasons why someone may have done something to you, or you can recognise the thought, work through it if needed, and move on.  

Our lives are really short, even if you live until you are 100, that’s not long in the scheme of things. Get good at catching your thoughts, get good at recognising the destructive ones, deal with them appropriately, and quickly, move on with your life, and make the most of the time you have.  

It takes too much energy to get stuck in a destructive thought spiral, when you could be doing so much more with that energy, for good.  

Life is for living, isn't it time you started living yours.  

Tana x  

12 April 2018

Basketball, Weird Feet and Dog Sledding

I had a check in with my specialist recently, and explained what was going on in my life, and he started talking about his trip to Yukon to see the northern lights, and dog sledding.  

While he always loves to share his holidays with me, his message was about slowing down and enjoying life, even though he was going quite quickly, being pulled along by 16 dogs.  

Do you notice when you experience symptoms of your MS?  

And do you do anything about it?  

I have been pushing a little too hard of late, in all areas of my life, and I started feeling exhausted more often than I would like, and then last week, my feet started feeling weird.  

In the past I have had numb legs, so I know how that feels, but I don’t know if I would say my feet were numb, I just lost some of the sensation in them, and they felt kind of weird.  

Even before my feet started going weird on me, I knew I needed to slow down, but every moment I thought I had made it through a busy patch, something else would come up.  

Why is it that we need to be told to slow down, or forced to slow down, rather than simply adding down time into our everyday routine, or for me, to be told a story by my specialist about his dog sledding adventures in order to make a point. SLOW DOWN!  

My weird feet have been a great reminder for me to go back and revisit what I need to be doing in order to take care of my greatest asset, me.  

As well as everything else I need to be doing in order to take care of me, including rest, meditation, time in nature, exercise, etc, getting time out for me now also includes playing basketball. I played years ago, and a friend recently asked me to join a new competition. Even with my weird feet, it was great to get back on the court and play again.  

The games are on at witching hour, so I was extremely hesitant given everything that needs to happen at home, kids eating dinner, doing homework, getting in the shower and going to bed. I have to allow myself to let go a little, and know my kids are being looked after by my partner, and I can actually go out and enjoy a game with friends, and I don’t need to try and do everything, all the time.  

Taking care of myself also means letting go and trusting that everything is still going to be ok.  

Down time won’t happen every-day, but I know for me personally, I will go through these busy phases in my life, catch myself, and slow right down.  

When your life gets so busy, do you forget that you have MS, and get caught up in the daily routine of life.  

What would it take for you to stop waiting until you are exhausted or experiencing symptoms?  

Think about this for a moment, is your family better off with you getting regular down time, and actually having better energy for them, more often.  

Or, are they better off with you going as hard as you can, for as long as you can, until everything comes to a grinding halt, you experience a relapse, and can do absolutely nothing for them, or anyone, including yourself.  

I am hoping you chose option A, even though I know your family would prefer you to keep doing everything, but hopefully, hopefully, they see greater benefit in you not having a relapse, and having regular down time.  

Are you ready to go dog sledding or see the northern lights? If you can't get to Yukon, remember to add some down time back in to your life, and be proactive rather than reactive to your MS.  

In health and happiness,  

Tana x  

29 March 2018

What Are You Waiting For

Every day that you wake up, you get a chance to make it a great day, yet you don’t.  

You have the opportunity to make everyone you come into contact with, feel like they want to be on what-ever 'high on life' drug they think you are taking (not the MS variety), yet you don’t.  

Did you wake up today and think, my life is so amazing, I can’t wait to get started!  

Or,  

Did you wake up and think, here we go again, routine, boredom, blah. How long until the weekend?  

Why is that?  

Do you spend way too much time on social media, trying to escape the life you have for the one you think you want (surely the grass is greener on the other side, right?), scrolling through your feeds, wondering why everyone else is having such a fantastic life.  

With every post you read, there are more smiles, laughter, happy families, holidays, and general all round ‘way to make me feel like my life is so boring’ going on, that you forget, you are only seeing the brief moment in their life that they actually wanted to share with the world.  

Would you even want to see all the other moments that are not social media worthy? Maybe not, and they may not get as many likes or comments, but it would be interesting to see what their lives are actually like.  

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good flick through to see what everyone else is doing. It keeps me up to date with my ‘growing up too quickly’ nieces and nephews, friends that I haven’t caught up with for a long time, and it’s always great to see what those crazy cats are up to on the cat videos, (p.s. yesterday I watched a video on how to make a hat out of paper for barbie dolls. #Icantgetthattimeback).  

What are you waiting for?  

Are you waiting for a better drug to cure your MS, maybe you are waiting for the right moment, the perfect weather, for the kids to be older, or until you have more time, more money, less stress, and when you aren’t so busy. Are you hoping to find something as you scroll through social media that might just help flick the switch inside of you, and ignite your fire and passion for life.  

Can I tell you that now is the right time, whatever your excuse might be.  

Now is the right time to decide to have a great day.  

Now is the right time to decide that whatever life throws at you, you are going to keep seeing every new challenge as an opportunity to grow, and learn more about yourself, your family, and your life.  

Now is the right time to decide to live your life with passion, rather than being a passenger in life.  

How do you do it?  

Decide to!  

That’s it, you simply decide to.  

You decide to wake up and be excited about the day ahead.  

Excited about the people who are in your life.  

Excited about the opportunities you have.  

Excited about the life you have.  

FYI, my life isn’t like the smiley, happy family full of holidays images you see on social media every day, but I make sure I give myself the best opportunity to make it that way every moment I am able to.  

To be honest, I don’t wake up excited every day, and there are plenty of people in my life that I would be ok if they weren’t, and I don’t bounce out of bed every morning singing from the rooftops, ‘It’s great to be alive!’  

What I do have, is the ability to look at everything that happens in my life as an opportunity to learn and grow from. I could be down on myself and my life for so many reasons, but I choose to enjoy this one life I have, I choose every day to love my kids, love my partner, and love my family as much as I possibly can, and I choose to seek out the highlights in my life, rather than focus on what isn’t going so well.  

I encourage you to stop waiting for the one thing, or one person to tell you to change the way you look at life, and to start being that person. Ask yourself, do you get more energy from people who are happy and optimistic, or those who are down on life, and down on themselves?.  

Be the person who chooses to be excited about the day ahead.  

Be the person who others want to learn from in real life, not just social media.  

Be the person who wants to ride the hell out of this life.  

It takes practice, consistency and focus to change the way you think about life, and catching yourself when you do slip back into the old you. The benefits are that you, and those closest to you, get all the rewards for your practice, consistency and focus.  

Who wouldn’t want to be around someone like you, so high on life.  

Stop waiting for life to happen to you, and go make it happen for you.  

Tana x

19 March 2018

You Always Have A Choice

You always have a choice

Every day we are required to make thousands of choices.

Some have a big impact on our day and our life, while others don’t make much difference at all. 

Whether I put tomato in a salad or not, won’t really change my life significantly, but if I decide to drive on the wrong side of the road, well, I don’t imagine that will work out so well for me.

When I was diagnosed with MS, I had a choice. I can let it get me down and rule my life, or I can decide to make changes in my life to give myself the best opportunity of living my best life possible.

Early on, there were many moments of anger, and why me, but in making a decision to live my best life, the anger I was feeling mostly disappeared. 

I am still human, so there are the odd occasions when it gets frustrating, but I don’t get angry anymore. And I definitely worry every now and then about my kids, and if I am not around, but then I keep moving on and living the life I am here for.

Then there are the choices I made in leaving my ex-husband. It would be nice to think he was no longer in my life, but I do have two beautiful children with him, and we need to keep in touch regarding our kids. 

Early on after our separation, the kids would spend a weekend with their dad. They would have next to no boundaries, and their meals would consist of packet food, loads of sugar and no vegetables or salad in sight.

This used to make me so angry, as I would make sure our kids ate healthy when they were with me, and then they would go to him, eat poorly, and would have no boundaries set what so ever.

When the kids came home to me, I was then the bad parent, as I would get them to go to bed early, make them eat healthy food, and give them boundaries.

Or even more recently, his birthday was coming up, and I heard my daughter ask him on the phone if he could take them shopping to buy him a present. After a weekend with him, they said they didn’t have time, even though they watched 4 episodes of something on Netflix, as well as 3 movies in a weekend, and then played on the ipad, but they didn’t have time.

I realised how much I let all of this eat away at me every time they would come home after being with their father. 

I realised also that I always had a choice. 

I had a choice to let it eat away at me, and for me to give energy to how he looked after them, when it was completely out of my control, or I had a choice to decide not to let it bother me, and that at least he wants to be in their life, and they really do love him. 

Yes, they might watch a lot of tv, eat poorly and have a pretty chilled time when they are with him, but he isn’t violent towards them, and he does his best in bringing them up.

I can only do for my kids what I can do while they are with me, and I make sure I give them my attention, look after them as best as I can, and I let the rest go.

What do you need to let go of in your life. If you have things that you know are eating away at you, make a decision about the best way to move on, or to work through whatever it is. 

Every day we have energy to live our life the best we can, why spend it on things out of our control, when we can be using it towards making the most of each day.

We always have a choice, what will you decide?  

Tana x

6 March 2018

How Loud Are The Voices In Your Head

We all have people in our lives, some have lots, while others have a few, but we all have people around us. Family, friends, work mates, the bus driver, people at the supermarket, your doctor, the local take away shop, basically, there are people everywhere, whether you like it or not.

And all of them are speaking, either to you, or to each other, but none of them make as much noise as the voices in our head.

Our own voices are what help us through the day, they can give you a boost when you are feeling good, and they can bring you down, without you even realising it.

Do you hear them? Or more importantly, do you listen to them?  

“I shouldn’t have done/said that”, “I wish I was a better mum”, “I’m not good enough”, “I am too fat”, “I can’t do it”, “I’m lazy”, the list goes on, and on. 

Think to yourself for a moment, do you feel better or worse after you say these things to yourself?

I know I feel worse when I have given myself a good beating up.

These voices control our lives, and the conversations, or comments, we make to ourselves all day, every day, can leave us feeling on top of the world, or just as easily, they can completely exhaust us.

Did you realise that you can feel better, or worse, simply by changing the conversation you have with yourself?

You need to start treating yourself with compassion, and stop judging yourself on everything you do or say. 

If we all became the best version of ourselves by beating our-self up, every time we did something wrong, then wouldn’t we be perfect by now?

I don’t believe in being able to stop or silence those negative voices in our head, but we can definitely change them.

I agree that it isn’t always as simple as going from feeling down in the dumps to high on life, by saying I feel great and everything and everyone in my life is amazing.

It might help, as you will possibly laugh a little at yourself for saying something like that when you are feeling down, but, you can actually start to feel better, and decrease the impact of your negative words by making a joke out of it.

When you notice yourself giving you a hard time, try repeating those words in a song, say it in a silly voice, or write it down in different colours on a piece of paper.

Saying I wish I was a better mum when you sound like you have been sucking on helium sounds pretty funny.

While you can learn from the things we don’t do so well, it is pointless spending the majority of our day on being down on ourselves. 

If you can start to take the power and energy out of our harsh inner critic, the more we will start to see the good things we do in our lives. 

Being mindful about the way we talk to ourselves can have a huge impact on the way we view our lives and the people in it. 

Start being kind to yourself, and notice all the good you do in your life, and the lives of those around you. Invest your limited time and energy into activities that help bring out your best version of yourself.

Go be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

Tana x  

24 February 2018

I Peed My Pants

It was my sons 10th birthday this week, and he had so much fun!  

'Best birthday ever' was his exhausted response when I asked him at the end of the day.  

We covered his floor with balloons so that when he woke up, there were balloons everywhere.  

The house was decorated, and the kitchen table was full of presents.  

His big present was a trampoline, to share with his sister, but if you could have been there and seen the expression on his face when he went into the back yard, and saw his new trampoline, wow, just wow.  

That expression, and his inability to say anything in that instant through sheer joy and excitement, made all the days of planning for a tiny and uneven backyard, putting it together, and digging into the ground, all worth it, and it still makes my heart melt, thinking about how excited he was.  

If you could hear the kids laughing while they are bouncing, as well as my partner laughing when they are double bounced by him, it reminded me that we so easily forget about having fun and being like a child again, either as adults, or for our children.  

And there is no need to mention the fun I had bouncing around, until I was quickly reminded that bouncing really isn’t great for my bladder, not sure if it’s an ms thing, or after popping out two watermelons I now call my kids.  

I want my kids to be kids, and to have fun, but I often catch myself saying no, or trying to stop them from doing things because they might get hurt. In doing so, am I stopping them from being kids, and potentially stopping them from exploring their limits, and potential, or increasing their levels of anxiety?  

I was reading an article my Dad shared with me, about research conducted at Macquarie University in Sydney on the very same topic, about kids who are wrapped in cotton wool having higher anxiety levels, than those who are allowed to be kids and take risks. You can read it here.  

The study found that, parents who used helicopter style parenting can heighten levels of anxiety in their children. By restricting our kids from doing certain things, we are sending a message that the world is a scary place, and that they need protecting from it.  

When was the last time you had fun, and laughed so hard you peed your pants? Or laughed so hard it took your breath away?  

I would love for my kids to grow up wanting to explore the world, be adventurous and want to take risks, (as long as they don’t hurt themselves too much).  

As an adult I know that growth and learning often comes after taking risks, and going through pains of some variety, but sometimes, we forget how to have fun, or forget that we need to take risks in the first place, in order to be able to experience the sheer joy that my son experienced on his birthday.  

Go out and bounce on a trampoline, or do something fun, you won’t regret it, I promise you, other than maybe a little bit of pee in your pants.  

Life is yours for the making, isn’t it time to go make yours?  

Tana x

12 February 2018

Is The Grass Greener On The Other Side?  

At some point in your life, you have wondered haven’t you?  

Is the Grass Actually Greener On The Other Side?  

As someone with MS, I know you will have thought many times about what life would be like if you didn’t have it.  

Do your thoughts go something like this?  

I could be more active, would have more confidence, a better relationship, be happier or even have a better job?  

Does that sound familiar?  

Think about this for a moment, can the grass actually be greener on this side of the fence, the side you are on currently? The side where you do have MS.  

I agree, it may not look the best at the moment, and it is going to be hard work to get it green again, but you can, if that's what you decide to do.  

You have MS, but there is no reason why you can’t have more confidence, be more active, have the best relationship, be happier, and have a better job.  

Your grass might look a little worn out from being stepped on too many times, and completely run down, but does that mean you need to leave it for what looks to be greener on the other side.  

Here’s a little inside knowledge for you.  

Unless you know how to keep the grass green right where you are, then there is every chance that the grass on the other side of the fence, is going to look exactly the same as where you are right now, soon after you arrive.  

That sounds a little depressing doesn’t it, especially when it looks sooo green from this side of the fence, and so inviting.  

Unfortunately the shine will wear off the new job, the new relationship will feel like the last one, you will feel sad instead of happy, and you will be a long way from feeling your confident best.  

We have all done it at some point in our life, gone for something that looks better than what we have currently, it might be food, where you live, or with your friends.  

I was great at it, going for what looked new and exciting, and after much practice, I realised that until I did the necessary work on me, then it didn’t matter what I did. After the initial excitement, I soon discovered I was feeling exactly the same as I had prior to coming to the greener side.  

So what do you do about it?  

How do you make sure your grass is green right where you are, allowing you the ability to make a decision about whether or not you should stay put, perhaps with some changes, or go to the other side.  

Take a look at your life, not just your job, or relationship, but look at what makes up your life.  

If you have been recently diagnosed, or have suffered a relapse, it can feel like trying to be positive, or trying to see how green the grass is on your side of the fence, is nearly impossible.  

Yet it really only takes a few small changes in your life to realise that YOU have been there all along. All you needed to do was simply blow off a layer of dust, add some water, and get your grass green right where you are.  

For me it was getting myself mentally fit, and making sure I had the ability to make decisions from a healthy frame of mind.  

When I started working on me, which meant making sure my fitness was good, I was eating healthy meals, I had a good relationship with my family and friends, and I was doing the work necessary on myself, consistently, to make sure I maintained a healthy mindset, and outlook on life.  

I made sure my adventurous side was taken care of, as well as making sure I was nurturing myself through meditation, time in nature, and taking the time to be mindful in my normal every day activities.  

What it will be for you might be completely different to me, but taking the time to find out what you need for you, is well worth the investment, and may save a good deal of frustration, and potential heartache.  

When you have the grass green on the side of the fence you are on currently, then you are in a position to decide, whether or not, you even need to be looking on the other side of the fence. I dare say you will find it is green enough right where you are.  

Isn’t it time you started living your best life.  

Tana x  

1 February 2018

The Point Of Life

What is the point of life, if we are not making the most of each and every day, and actually living our life to the fullest?  

Do you often look at the younger generation and wonder how they are going to survive in the world?  

Do you wonder if they are in a trance, so lost in technology that the world is quickly passing them by?  

Isn't it so much easier to look at others and wonder what the world is coming to, rather than looking at your own life, and realise you are stuck in your own trance?  

Are you surprised how much you know about the latest celebrity gossip, or when the new series of your favourite show is starting, yet you don’t remember if it was a beautiful day outside, and you wonder why you don’t have time to speak to your friends or family?  

Fast forward to the end of your life, and imagine there was a movie made about you, would you want to watch it if you were caught in your trance, or in being busy?  

I’m guessing that you would want to watch yourself living your life to the fullest?  

I agree that not every day will seem like we are living it to the fullest, but if you make a conscious effort to do more of the things you enjoy in your life, and make more of an effort to appreciate each day, and appreciate the people who are in your life, then it makes each day all the more worthwhile in living.  

How do you make sure you are living your life to the fullest every day?  

For me, it was making sure I do things for myself every week, or even every day if possible, even if it’s something small like reading a chapter of a book. I love adventure and make sure I am enjoying nature on a regular basis. It can be hard at times to find time to do things just for me, but as long as I get back to nature, I generally balance myself out fairly quickly.  

We all get to choose our own path in life, meaning that you are the only one who can decide what you want your life to look like.  

Think about the movie of your life, and start writing down the things you would like to watch yourself doing in order to live your life to the fullest. They can be small or large, follow your gut, or your heart, and see what comes out when you start writing.  

Try it, it is your life. What have you got to lose?  

Tana x

26 January 2018

It’s ok to not be ok!  

Sometimes, it all gets a bit much.  

You think you have everything together, then almost out of the blue, you reach your breaking point, and total overwhelm, and you lose your shit!  

Hang on, aren’t you the one that everyone counts on?  

The one that everyone turns to when their world is crashing down around them.  

You have to be there every day for your kids, no matter what. You are there for your partner, friends, your work, family and extended family, until that day comes, and you have simply had enough.  

Your kids still need you, but they only get the half version of you because their cries for attention only grate at you, and do the complete opposite of what they intended, they either get no attention, or worse, they get cranky mum, and nobody wants cranky mum!  

Does anyone else understand? Does anyone else even notice you have completely lost your shit, or are they so caught up in their own world that they don't even notice.  

It starts with a slow build up, you notice your coping mechanisms start to disappear, and then, all of a sudden, dealing with your daughters melt down about not having the right colour paint to paint with, is no longer possible.  

I’m here to tell you, it is ok!!  

You don’t need to apologise for it, you don’t need to analyse it, you don’t even need to seek therapy for it, you can seek therapy for everything else going wrong in your life.  

More often than not, and I definitely notice in myself, I reach these points when I haven’t taken care of my own needs as much as I need to.  

I’ve realised that while on school holidays with the kids, I have devoted all of my time to them. And can count on one hand (actually I can count on two fingers), the things I have done for myself in the last few weeks.  

I’m not blaming my kids at all, I wanted to spend my time with them, but I also am responsible for making sure I am being looked after. Otherwise I crack, and those I love the most, are the ones that feel it when I reach my breaking point.  

Let yourself be ok with these moments, take some time out for you, get some fresh air, get your fix of exercise, reading, friend time, or whatever it is you need to feel human again, but try not to over analyse it and work out what’s wrong with you.  

Nothing is wrong with you, you are a human being, and sometimes life gets a bit much, and that’s ok.  

It's ok to be happy and excited, so why is it not ok to allow ourselves to be sad, angry or lose our shit?  

You are more worthy than you realise, tell yourself that every day, and most days you will be up, and some days you will be down, you are you, and you are doing the best you can.  

Here's to you, however you are feeling.  

Tana x  

16 January 2018

What Do You Want?

When Do You Want It?

We have all seen those public demonstrations, with someone yelling out, “What do we want?” followed with a response from the crowd, and then “When do we want it?” with the reply “Now!” yelled back repeatedly from the crowd.

So what do you want? And when do you want it?  

As human beings, we really can make our life, and the decisions we make, so much harder than they need to me.  

Firstly, do you ever stop for long enough to think about what it is that you actually want?  

Or are you chasing your tail on a daily basis, going from one task to the next, doing the best you are able to do, without considering what you want?  

So why not just stop, take as little as 30 seconds, and think about it, what do you really want?  

You can do it now….  

. 

..

...

Did you do it? I know it’s hard to stop for even 30 seconds, but if you did, was it long enough to come up with what you wanted, or did your brain take you through all the jobs you have to do, before considering what you might actually want.  

Try it again, 30 seconds, what do you want? And I am not thinking of material items, more like experiences, be it with family, friends, or on your own, your life, what do you want it to look like.  

You may want to climb a mountain, go on a safari, jump out of a plane, or it could be as simple as catching up with a friend you haven’t seen for a while, taking your kids to the theatre (we are going to see Wizard of Oz this week and I’m a bit excited), maybe hug a family member, go watch a movie, or a walk along the beach.  

Things that bring a smile to your heart, and remind you about the joys of being alive.  

Now you have had a brief moment to consider what you might actually want, how about the second part of the equation, “When do you want it?”  

“NOW!!!” The crowd yells.  

So when do you actually want it.  

Again, I dare say your thinking has become clogged with everything else you need to do on your to-do list, before you can even think about when you might be able to find the time to do something for yourself. Even though it is still January, are you up to the end of 2018 before being able to fit time for you in, or has it been pushed back to 2019, or later.  

Forget the story you use to reason with yourself as to why you can’t have what it is that you want.  

And as you are reasoning with yourself as to why you can’t have it, you will also be telling yourself you don’t have time for it anyway, so there is no point in wanting it in the first place.  

If you can’t have what you want, you don’t need to worry about when you want it, that makes sense doesn’t it!! If your thinking does take you to that place, of thinking you can’t have what you want, then I will encourage you to start small, no need to climb Mount Everest next week.  

Try starting with a reading a chapter of a book, having a soaking bath, or watching a movie.  

As you get better at allowing time for yourself, and enjoying it, then you can progress onto some bigger desires you may wish to fulfil.  

Why not keep it simple, and plan it into this week, or sooner, try it today.  

Remind yourself, in its simplest form, ‘What do you want’, and ‘When do you want it’.  

“NOW”!  

Keep being great :-)  

Tana x

8 January 2018

It Starts With You

Welcome to a New Year.  

Did you start the new year with a list of resolutions you would like to achieve?  

While it is a great way to do a re-set, and start taking action towards achieving your new goals, it can put so much pressure on you, that you end up setting yourself up for failure.  

By all means, set some goals for the year, but don't be so hard on yourself and give in, if you aren't on track, or miss a day or two. You are more likely to achieve your goals if you actually enjoy the process.  

If you are trying to lose weight, starving yourself of all the foods you like, is not healthy for your brain, and for most clients I have worked with who try this approach, end up going backwards before we have even reached the end of the month.  

Whatever your goals are,  

  Make them achievable; setting realistic goals may sound boring, but they will help break up a goal, that, after the first week of the year, seems so far out of reach you give in, Enjoy the journey; if you enjoy the journey towards reaching your goal, you give yourself a far greater chance of achieving it, Reward yourself; set yourself several mini milestones to break up the journey towards your big goal, then when you reach a mini milestone, celebrate with a reward, and continue on your way. This plays a role in helping you enjoy the journey, and achieving your goal.  

A final tip is trying not to overwhelm yourself by choosing several goals you would like to achieve at once. Break them up over the year by selecting one or two to start. Then once you achieve them, you can move onto the next goals.  

Make 2018 your year, and give yourself the best chance of achieving your goals.  

Here's to your success.  

Tana x

24 December 2017

Merry Christmas

As the year draws to a close, I want to thank you for being a part of our community, in helping women live their best life with MS.  

With Christmas only a few days away, it’s a great time to remind you to turn your woes, into ho, ho, hoes.  

Many of you joined us on our 7 day challenge. Why not try a challenge on your own.  

Over the 7 days between Christmas and the New Year, why not try doing this. Try being grateful every day for 7 days, and try focusing on what brings you joy in your life.  

Hopefully this time of year gives you a chance to spend time with loved ones, and helps you realize, how lucky you are to have such an opportunity to make the most of the life you have.  

As we approach Christmas, which for me is a time to catch up with those closest to me, I encourage you to leave your woes behind, and enjoy spending time with family and friends, and not burden them with what isn't working in your life. Instead, try and focus on what is working, as there will be lots that is working for you in life.  

You will need to catch yourself on a regular basis trying to share your woes, but keep trying to focus on the good in your life. It was a game changer for my energy levels, and it will be for yours, and those closest to you.  

I hope you have taken something from my articles, and that it has been able to help you in some way. If you have joined one of our challenges, thanks for taking part, they will be back in 2018.  

I wish you the very best for Christmas and for a bright and happy New Year.  

Tana x

15 December 2017

PSSST WANNA BE A FLY ON THE WALL FOR A SEC?  

Typical Conversation with my Clients who change their life once they start working with me.  

Me: Do the work. Them: Ok. Me: How did it go? Them: It's shockingly easy. Is it weird that I have a completely different view on life in less than 90 days? Me: Nope. The system works if you work it. Them: Why don't your other clients just do what you teach? It's magical. Me: I know, right?  

Typical Conversation with my Clients who Struggle (no difference in intelligence, or desire to change)  

Me: Do the work. Them: Yes, but. Me: Do the work. Them: What if I try it this way? Me: I don't recommend it, but it's your life. Them: WHY DIDN'T IT WORK? Me: Cuz you didn't do the work. Them: I'm exhausted I need a break, I’m different to everyone else. Me: I can see why, let me know when you need me. Them: I'm ready! I'm going to do it your way. Me: Awesome! Do the work. Them: I had an idea of a different way I think will work... not sure if you are going to like it. Me: I don't recommend it, but it's your life. Them: WHY DIDN'T IT WORK? Me: Cuz you didn't do the work. Them: This is too hard. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I have so much other stuff going on. I need to go figure stuff out. Me: Let me know when you need me. Them: I'm ready! I'm going to do it your way. Me: Awesome! Do the work. Them: OK Me: How did it go? Them: Why didn't I just do this from the beginning??? I'm seriously blown away by how fast this works! It's so much easier than I was making it out to be. I wish I just did what you said and that I didn't resist you and argue with you. I wish I could get all that time back! I feel like I have my life back again - this is insane! Why didn't you just tell me to do the work?? Me: *face palm  

MORALE OF THE STORY - PICK ONE COACH AND DO EVERYTHING THEY SAY. WATCH YOUR LIFE CHANGE. ARGUE FOR YOUR LIMITATIONS AND SURE ENOUGH, THEY ARE YOURS TO KEEP!  

Tana x  

28 November 2017

 Silly Season

Follow this simple rule. 

Have you wondered how to create more time at an already jam packed time of year?  

I sat down last night to make sure I had written all of our activities on the calendar for December, and it is a full month. And yes I still write things on the calendar, it helps me visualise everything, plus the kids can see what is going on.  

The end of the year is upon us. If you are anything like me, you are exhausted, but the demands keep coming, even if they are mostly social outings, kids concerts, Christmas shopping, work functions, Christmas parties, family gatherings etc, and I managed to squeeze in 3 appointments for everyone to get to the dentist before Santa arrives, go me.  

Now, more importantly, how am I going to fit in time for me, maybe even some time for exercise.  

I know you are like me, and you are planning everything for everyone else, with very little thought for yourself. In the past I was that person who put everything off until the new year, or until the sun came up at the right time, or the clouds all had the same shape, wait, clouds, looks like rain is coming, I will wait until tomorrow to exercise. But I know the importance of exercise, especially when it comes to MS, and it helps me stay at least a little bit sane at any time of year, especially heading into Christmas.  

In a normal week, people are celebrating hump day on a Wednesday, the downhill slide to Friday and the weekend. At this time of year, people are barely making it to hump day, let along hanging on until the end of the year. Everyone is trying to survive until the end of the year, when everything will magically be ok, you will then have time, and your energy back again (yes I am saying that with my tongue firmly pressed into my cheek).  

For those who really want time back again, it might be to go for a walk, or at this time of year, have some time out, and recharge mentally, there are some simple rules to follow.  

You already know that to get a large chunk of your time back is as easy as turning off your phone, closing your email, shutting off social media, and stopping yourself from watching tv.  

That’s it, no rocket science involved, yet we like to challenge ourselves, and make it so much harder than it needs to be.  

That was so easy to type, and read, yet so hard to implement, for the long term anyway.  

Most of us have tried either one, or even all of the above, especially after returning from a holiday, and found it amazing to not only have so much time again, but have so much mental capacity to take life in our stride. We can run, walk and catch up with friends with our new found freedom, this is awesome.  

Unfortunately, one by one, as our holidays become a distant memory, the tv goes back on, facebook is back in action, emails are checked constantly and everything we didn’t want to disrupt us in our daily lives, has crept back in. We start wondering how life became so busy, where did our time go? I don’t have time for exercise, time for me.  

While I am writing this, I have been checking my facebook account, read emails, searched the internet, and let my mind wander. It should have taken me an hour or so to write, yet nearly 3 hours later, I am still writing, luckily, for this week anyway, I am on top of my exercise.  

As the busiest time of year, it is also the best time of year to plan how to get more time back into your day. When you have quiet time (ha), and everything seems to be in order, we don’t think about needing more time to ourselves, we think that it will always be like this, and we don’t need to plan.  

Here’s a newsflash, you do need to plan, and you do need to do it when you are busy. Then at those magical quiet moments, you have even more time for you.  

Remember the rules to having more time back for yourself, more time with your family, more time to exercise?? Switching off your technology is a good start. You need to be hard on yourself in adhering to this, hang on, I just replied to a text, checked the weather app, is it school lunch order day? and searched the internet again, now where was I?.  

Do be hard on yourself, as you will be rewarded quickly for it. It is hard, damn hard, must not check facebook so often. Follow the rules above, and try and stick to them, even if you start with short breaks from technology, and slowly increase the time. It really is worth it.  

This is the busiest time of year for most of us, maybe with all the family gatherings, getting some exercise in might be your chance to have some time out from everyone, and get some time to yourself.  

I still hear you saying, I will add it to my new year’s resolution list.  

Don’t wait! Fight harder to get yourself out the door. Imagine having reached the new year having completed a month of regular exercise, how much difference will that make to your mental and physical energy.  

It will make your end of year far more rewarding knowing you are on your way, and will set you up for an awesome new year.

17 November 2017

Don't Beat Yourself Up For Not Doing It! 

It's as simple as a YES or a NO!  

After coaching clients for several years, this is what I hear on a regular basis;  

“I should have done my exercise this week. I didn’t, and felt terrible for not doing it”.  

“I didn’t get time to do the homework tasks this week, so had to change our call, as I was disappointed in myself for not doing the work”.  

By the time we were able to catch up, it generally begins with “Sorry, I didn’t do ‘X’ because of (insert reason), as I knew you wouldn’t be happy with me”, or “I felt guilty, so haven’t been in touch until I had completed the work”.  

Here is the thing, it really doesn’t have anything to do with me. This is all about you!  

Everyone has a reason for not doing something, (especially when you have MS), be it an excuse or a legitimate reason, but it doesn’t make much difference whether it is an excuse, or a legitimate reason. The end result is exactly the same.  

You haven’t exercised, completed the weekly tasks or done whatever, but there is no need to beat yourself up over it. We do enough of that in the rest of our daily lives.  

When you have MS, you need to be ok with not doing something like exercise on a day you may have planned on doing it, especially if your body isn’t up to it on that particular day.  

Let’s look a little deeper at why you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.  

As an adult, and more importantly, an adult with MS, you have the ability to make a decision, and while that decision should lead to a black or white answer of yes or no, we often end up in the grey area, of not committing either way.  

If we do make a decision, say it’s a no, I didn’t exercise today, do you find yourself dwelling on it for hours, or days on end, and beating yourself up for all the reasons about why you didn’t do it, or how you wished you had of done it?  

By not making a clear yes or no decision, and by sitting in the grey area, you lose the option of doing anything else with your time, or at least doing anything else well, and instead, you spend your energy on why you did or didn’t do something.  

If you do make a commitment, again, with either with a yes or a no, you then allow yourself the ability, and time, to either complete that task, and give it all your energy, or go and do something else that is a higher priority.  

When you commit to a firm no, great, you made a firm decision, now go and give all your energy to what-ever it is you are doing in place of exercise, or your homework, and don’t think about why you didn’t do whatever it was.  

If you commit to a yes, I’m going to exercise, super, get out there and enjoy it, don’t go half hearted, thinking about all the other things you could be doing instead of exercising.  

But please, I beg you, don’t sit in the grey area, giving energy to both yes and no at the same time, and then giving only a small part of yourself to what you decide to do with your time.  

By sitting in the grey area, you will be kicking yourself, beating yourself up mentally for all the reasons why you should have exercised, or completed your weekly homework.  

It can take time to get good at making a firm decision, but the more often you get used to making a decision, the better you will get at it.  

I realise it sounds simple, saying yes or no, but it will save you so much energy. Give it time, and with practice, just like exercise, or completing your weekly homework tasks, you will get better at it, and get back more energy for you, as you won’t be wasting so much of your energy on not making a decision.  

Power to you!  

Tana

9 November 2017

Do You Actually Want To Be Fit And Healthy?

Do you want to be fit and healthy, or do you think you like the fantasy of being fit and healthy?  

I have taken this topic as an extension to an article I read recently from Mark Manson, you can read it here.  

Basically, it talks about what you want, or do you just like the fantasy of what you think you want. And are you actually prepared to struggle for it, in order to get it?  

"Our next 7 Day Challenge is coming. Based on your feedback from our last challenge, this one is all about being fit, healthy, and mindful. Join the MS140 Challenge here".  

It’s a great question, and is an article that really does question the way we think about the things we want in our life.  

As someone with MS, we already have a struggle that most don’t, so are we prepared to struggle even more, in order to be as fit and healthy as we ideally would like to be?  

As human beings we have regular thoughts about the things we want, better body, better diet, better lifestyle, better relationships, better ????? but, are we actually prepared to do the work in order to achieve each of those things?  

And if we aren’t prepared to do the work, then couldn’t we save ourselves a good deal of mental energy on thinking we want those things?  

If only it was that easy.  

Or, are we prepared to suck it up, push through the pain and struggle it inevitably takes, to achieve whatever it is you do actually want in your life.  

More often than not, we are struggling against our own demons in order to achieve what we want, but with consistent effort, in most cases, you will do it, whatever it is.  

If I take the extension of the article and look at being fit and healthy. Do you actually want to become fit and healthy?  

It sounds great thinking I can run 5kms, maybe 10km, or I can change my diet and make healthier food choices more often, but, are you actually prepared to get up early before the kids wake up, or run in the evening, after dinner? Or learn new recipes, that everyone will enjoy?  

Do you want to exercise when it is too hot, or it’s raining, possibly snowing outside.  

How about weekends, and giving up part of your weekend to exercise, when you could be getting a sleep in on your one day off.  

Then you get injured or become sick, or are fatigued from MS, do you have the mental strength to manage yourself during those times, so that when you are healthy again, you want to exercise again, and get back on track to achieving your goal??  

And then food, are you really prepared to try a new diet, what about the fights with your partner, or kids, trying to get them to eat something that looks healthy.  

You are exhausted, and all you want to do is whip up a quick meal, is it something you know is quick and easy that you have made for years, or do you try a new recipe, except you realise you don’t have all the ingredients. Maybe next week.  

Being fit and healthy can bring so many fantastic personal rewards, as long as you really want it.  

Your level of self-confidence and self-esteem will sky rocket, and not to mention the role model you become for your children.  

It is easy to tell them why being fit and healthy is good for them in their life, but it will do so much more for them if you can show them, you will see them follow closely in your footsteps.  

And you will definitely be surprised, how many friends, work colleagues and neighbors are inspired by your efforts.  

So if being fit and healthy is what you really want, yes, even with MS, rather than the fantasy of it, isn’t it time you did the work, and be as fit and healthy as you have been talking about for so long?  

Tana

2 November 2017

Here's what I did to find a partner  

I shared with you last week 3 steps that I used in order to find a partner who would love me with MS.  

Did you notice that those 3 steps included nothing about them, or even finding them, but it was all about me.  

You see, in searching for someone with my MS, I had to find me, and love the person I was.  

After leaving my ex-husband, my thoughts were full of finding the right man for my life, and that I didn't want to be lonely.  

Once I realised that I was attracting the wrong type of man into my life, I searched a little deeper, and discovered that in finding me, and even fixing my relationship with myself, I was then able to decide what I wanted in a partner.  

The funny part is this, once I decided what I wanted in a partner, I actually decided I was happy to be by myself. I decided to surround myself and my life with love. I made sure I provided a loving environment for my kids, and when I needed others in my life, I filled it with the people I loved the most, in my friends and family.  

Then, without warning, I found love.  

It came at a time when I loved myself the most. I was happy with my life, and then almost out of the blue, came someone who ticked 13, from my list of 15 things, I was looking for in a partner. It was almost too good to be true, and to this day, when I pull out my list (it's now called my Simon list), I am still in shock at how many of those things, and more, that he is to me, my kids, and how much we add to each others lives.  

None of this would have been possible, if I didn't first do the work on myself, and follow the 3 steps in yesterdays email.  

Wishing you love, health and happiness.  

Tana

22 October 2017

How To Find A Partner Who Can Handle My Diagnosis 

Has your life just unravelled and now you are destined to live alone forever??? 

It can feel lonely when you don’t have someone to share your life with. Sure you have your kids, but who gives you the love you crave? Who is there for you when you need support, or maybe you need a hug for no reason at all.  

When you finally meet someone, now you have the added complication of when to tell them you have MS?  

First date, 2 weeks, a month, a year??  

What if they aren’t understanding?  

Click here to learn how to find a partner who can handle your MS diagnosis.  

And when the time does finally come, you build up all the courage you can muster, and decide to share your news, and it is greeted with silence………………….. or worse, they tell you they don’t want to spend their time looking after you!!!  

Ekkkk, what have you done!  

Has your life just unravelled and are you destined to live alone forever???  

Or you could go with option B, a safer option.  

Why not protect yourself from any potential future hurt and pain, and not have a relationship at all.  

You are independent, you don’t need anyone anyway, so save yourself the hassle, stress, and worry that comes with having a relationship, and forget about having a partner in your life.  

How easy does that sound, and not to mention fun!!! (Not!)  

I am here to tell you, don’t settle. You deserve way more!  

If you do decide to be on your own, do it because you are comfortable with it, and that’s what you have decided to do, rather than doing it because you don’t want to risk the potential pain and hurt a relationship may cause, or want to risk being rejected when you decide to tell them you have MS.  

I have too many friends, who are in bad relationships, rather than being in relationships that bring the best out in them, and that allow them to be themselves.  

Don’t doubt yourself, and decide who you want to be for you, then decide the type of person you would like to share your life with. That person may even have MS or anything else, and may be scared about telling you, but it doesn’t really matter what they have, if they are right for you in your life, and will help add to the life you have, then the rest is irrelevant.  

Here’s a tip, forget about your ms for the moment, and forget about the best time to share your ms news.  

Don’t make MS bigger than it is. You are a person, you have MS, why complicate it any further.  

Love yourself, know who you are, and know what you are looking for in a partner, and the rest will happen naturally, most likely when you are least expecting it.  

My partner Simon, who is a coach in my business, has these words to share with you;  

“From the other side of the fence, I discovered that Tana had MS before we started dating (actually it was about 6 months before we started dating, but no need to tell her that). I looked at who she was as a human being, how she treated others, how she treated me as a friend, what type of mother Tana was to her kids.  

Tana was kind, caring, cheeky, optimistic, adventurous, a lot of fun, and had a brilliant outlook on life, and I wanted to be a part of that.  

I did think about her MS, and what that potentially meant for me as her partner, but decided I would prefer to spend even one day with her, someone that shared similar values to my own, as well as a similar outlook on life, and experience that together, rather than opting for a partner or relationship that was average, but didn’t blow my socks off.  

I am forever grateful for this one life that we all have, and even more so that I get to share it with Tana.  

It was some time before I let Tana know, that I knew she had MS. I didn’t want it to be something we focussed on, or became ‘a thing’ in our relationship. It actually came up in conversation quite naturally one day, and Tana asked how that made me feel. I was open and honest in letting her know that I definitely had my concerns, but living a life with someone you really loved, whatever their condition, was far better than living a life not truly knowing real love.”  

Ready to learn how to find someone who can handle your MS diagnosis?  

My message to anyone with MS is this, just be you, love who you are, and know what you are looking for in a partner, and let the rest of the adventure happen naturally.  

Start saying yes to opportunities in your life, you never know where you might end up.  

Tana  

26 September 2017

Is It A Struggle To Get Your Kids Shoes On Every Morning?

Are you exhausted and its only 9am?  

Does that sound like your life?  

When every day begins with a struggle, argument or it feels like an arm wrestle, it doesn’t take too long before you can’t wait for the kids to be out the door and you can head to the peace and quiet of your job. Your energy levels had actually been ok when you woke, but you look at the clock, and realise its only 9am.  

Time to flick into survival mode and get through the day.  

What if you didn’t need to start every day with a struggle, and you managed to get the kids out the door without a fight?  

Ok, so that might sound a little unrealistic, but what if you could have a peaceful start to your day more often than not. And instead of flicking into survival mode, you had energy and looked forward to your day?  

Sounds impossible, but the truth is, it isn’t.  

With a little restructuring of your week, and some planning, you have a better chance of making it to 9am ready to start your day, rather than end it.  

Want to know how?  

Try this;  

  Write out a list of clothes you will wear for the week. Go one step further, and put all the clothes you need for each particular day on a clothes hanger and label it. Now all you need to do is grab the correct days coat hanger. Prepare your meals for the week in advance. If you aren’t able to put everything together, and have it ready for you to simply cook, then write out what you will do for breakfast, lunch and dinner each day, saving you the energy of needing to make the same decision multiple times daily. Get up early. Get up 15mins before your kids wake up, and get yourself organised and ready for the day. That way when your kids get up, you can be more relaxed with them, more present, and you will be surprised at how much smoother your morning will run. Your kids will appreciate this and you will be less stressed.  

I would love to hear how you go with any of these tips, or if you have some other tips, please share. If we can help save time in your day, you will have more energy for yourself, and more energy for those important in your life.  

Join Our Free 7 Day MS Challenge  

Our 7 day MS Mindset challenge kicks off on the 8th October. If you would like to be a part of it, simply add your details here, and we will include all the details in an email to have you ready for October 8. The challenge will be run in a secret facebook group, with each day bringing a new challenge.  

Are you ready to change the way you look at MS?  

Tana

13 September 2017 

I Feel Like I Don't Count 

If you don't put yourself first, why should anyone else? 

Do you realise you have trained them to be this way?  

Do you put your needs last, behind everything, and everyone else?  

Kids, partner, work, parents, neighbors, siblings, friends, friends of friends, and sometimes even the needs of people you know even less than friends of friends. Have a think about it, do their needs come before yours?  

Add to that the fact you have MS, and yet you still wonder why you are exhausted most of the time, or wonder why you feel like you don’t count.  

Stop wondering, you are a helper, fixer, caring person, and you want everyone to be happy, healthy, fixed, better, not in pain, whatever it is, and you would probably do it on one leg if you had to.  

We are funny creatures us human beings.  

We can wonder why we aren’t enjoying life like others ‘appear’ to be enjoying it, and look for big things in our lives to make us feel better, to feel like others who look so happy, or to help us feel how we used to feel, before MS, before kids, before this job, before I lived in this house etc.  

The answer isn’t in the big things in life, it is hidden there in the small things.  

Look for 5 small things you enjoy, or enjoyed doing in your life, and do even one of those things, today.  

Go for a walk and feel ok about it, rather than thinking I should be spending time with my kids, or doing something around the house. Go to the movies by yourself, stare at the ocean, sit in a bath (with water in it) for an hour and forget about your to do list, have you tried meditating, try 1 minute if you are new to it, try 10 if you have done it before, try 30 minutes if you really want to blow your mind.  

This is all about you, so don’t chose 5 things that are helping others, choose 5 that are for you. They might include activities with other people, kids, family, friends, but make sure it is about you enjoying your time with them, rather than with people who suck you of all your energy.  

If you find it hard to write down things that are only for you, find 10 things to do, 5 for you, and 5 for others. For every 1 thing you do for you, choose 1 thing for someone else, and work your way through your list. When you get to 10, start again, or write a new list, there is lots to be done, for you.  

It’s hard to allow our minds to think it is ok to actually do something for you, it feels selfish. Yes there are selfish people in the world, who do everything for themselves, and don’t care about anyone else, but that isn’t you, or you wouldn’t be reading this.  

I know I repeat this message on a regular basis, but I do it for a reason. You are important, and getting time for yourself is important. If you want the secret to finding yourself, and enjoying your life, start doing more for you.  

Still feel like you don’t count? Reply to this email if you have followed my suggestions above, and you still feel like you don’t count, I might have some other ideas for you.  

I am going to be launching a free 7 Day Study Group Challenge. I will give you a series of challenges over the 7 days, and all you need to do is complete them, and report in. Simple.  

If you are interested in my 7 Day Challenge, enter your details here, and I will be sending out more information before we kick off.  

Life is waiting for you, don’t wait too long.  

Tana  

29 August 2017

How I changed my life. 

After yet another relapse, I had hit rock bottom!  

I was running a dysfunctional family on my own, I was exhausted, mentally and physically, and I had reached breaking point.  

In a weird way, my last trip to hospital with my most recent MS relapse, I now proudly say was over 3 years ago, was my rock bottom.  

I knew exactly what I needed to do, yet my lifestyle was out of control.  

Once I left hospital, I made some serious changes to my life. I knew exactly what triggered my relapses, and I knew what I needed to do to decrease the chances of them happening, at least for me anyway.  

Now I want to share it with you.  

First, it was as simple as daily gratitude. Yes it might sound airy-fairy, or like gobgledygook, but it worked for me. Finding 3 things daily to be grateful for helped me see the good in my situation, even on the days when I was angry about it, finding good helped healed me.  

The next one was hard, practicing mindfulness. What does that even mean?? For me, it meant, being present in all moments, or at least all the moments I could remember to be present in. When I was with my kids, that was it, phone down, lists down, brain off (temporarily), it was time with my kids. If we were playing, doing homework, or another friggen science experiment, then I made sure I made the most of that time with my kids. If I was working, I made sure I was making the most of the time with my clients, instead of focusing on everything I needed to be doing for my kids, or at home. Mindfulness isn’t possible every minute of every day, but the more I did it, actually living in the present, the more I appreciated every day.  

Energy. Energy for me was two fold. The first was exercise, I loved it, and knew that it helped me, except when you have MS, some days it works, then other days, nothing works. So it was about being kind to myself, and realising that I needed to appreciate my forced rest days when I couldn't move, and enjoy the days I did have full movement. In getting fitter, I found I was able to have more energy to be present in other areas of my life.  

The second part of energy was emotional energy, and setting boundaries in the various areas of my life. I stopped trying to help everyone, including family, and started saving energy for myself. It took a while for me to get good at this one, and I still struggle with it at times, because inside of me I really want to say yes, but in a strange way, it was empowering to be able to say NO more often, and feel ok about it, without needing to make up an excuse, or justify why I was saying no, but just saying no, and that's it.  

And finally the future. I stopped making my life about MS, and decided that I have MS, but I am not MS. I had for a number of years been used for various MS promotions, and had a number of media commitments, and lots of travel. I thought it was great, being able to help motivate others and show them what is possible, but I was exhausted, and realised I was making it all about MS, while my belief is not that at all. When I decided to live my life to the fullest each day, and be excited about what the future had in store for me, I got excited. In the past, when I focused on MS, and what may or may not eventuate, it would get me down. It doesn't mean it won’t happen, but I am going to ride the hell out of this life, and make it the best life I possibly can.  

Live you best life.  

Tana.

25 August 2017

What if you just decided that you wanted to live your best life, right now? 

Ok, so you have kids, you work, you cook, you clean, etc etc, and remember you have MS, so this is all much harder for you than it is for anyone else.  

But what if you decided, in this very moment, that you are over everything being too hard, and you wanted to be excited about life again.  

Do you remember a time in your life when you were excited about the future, and the endless possibilities that the future had in store for you?  

Think about it for a moment, let yourself dream, and remind yourself of everything you wanted to do in life.  

Was it travel, a family, or a career that you wanted, maybe having your own business appealed to you. Whatever it was, close your eyes for a moment, and bring those dreams back, and really put yourself in whatever it is you dreamt about.  

Since being diagnosed with MS, I have had 2 beautiful kids, I have established my own businesses (yes, more than one), I had the courage to leave a long term relationship and marriage, not knowing if anyone else would love me because I had MS (here’s a little secret, who cares, when you love yourself and the life you have, the right person will come along, when you least expect it), and I moved back in with my parents (that was nearly harder than leaving my ex-husband).  

I guess what I am saying is, your life is what you make it, even with MS.  

You get the choice every single day to decide how you want to feel, and how excited you are about the day ahead.  

You have MS, so yes you might need to make adjustments at times, or adjust some of your dreams, but it doesn’t mean that everything comes to a grinding halt.  

Make today the day you decide that enough is enough, you get to decide how the day is going to turn out, not anyone else. You get to decide to start living your best life, right now.  

Isn’t it time you started living yours?  

Tana

19 August 2017

Don't Get Stuck

You always have a choice and you can always change your mind. 

For a long time I was stuck. I was always trying to do what I thought I should be doing or what I thought others thought I should be doing and it was exhausting. I got lost in my life and became a robot, making school lunches, doing washing, cleaning the house, going to work, paying the bills. Always trying to portray the image that I was 'fine' and everything was ok.  

But it wasn't. I wasn't doing anything for myself and I really wasn't finding any joy in my life. I had no time to stop and reflect and didn't realise where my life was heading until my body made me stop. It was only when I had quite a big relapse that I actually stopped (I had to, I was so fatigued I couldn't get out of bed) and started to reflect on my life.  

So here's what I did......  

I decided I wanted to live my life on purpose and have joy in my life regardless of what was going on around me or to me.  

Everything I do in my life is by choice and that gives me the freedom to then change my mind.  

And I set clear intentions about what I want in my life and manifest it. For example, I decided I wasn’t happy with my career and work set up anymore and wanted to put more energy into being an amazing mum for my kids. So I changed careers and manifested what I thought was the perfect job for me. It was close to home, the hours were ok, the pay was ok and the work was easy. I stayed in this job for about a year before I realised it actually wasn't what I wanted so I manifested a new job. I set the intention to be working less but earning more, still close to home and being easy work and I created it for myself. Shortly after, I had a new job earning 40% more than the last job with better hours and conditions and I was happy (at least I thought I was). I had more time for my kids and myself and I thought I was done. Little did I know, that again, about a year later I would want more.  

When I was 18 I participated in a personal development course and part of this course was to find my purpose in life. This is what I came up with as an 18 year old and it still rings true for me twenty years on.  

'The purpose of my life is to embody strength, power and compassion in order to teach and empower others to live full heartedly'  

I was working for the government in a less than satisfying job and I certainly wasn't teaching anyone to live full heartedly. So again, I realised I had a choice and could change my mind. So I followed my life purpose and put myself out there and am now living my life doing what I am passionate about and what fulfills me.  

I want to inspire you to live your life full heartedly. With whatever challenges you might be facing, I want to help guide and support you. I have been there and know that there are good days and bad days and you will be challenged at times and probably want to give up at times. But, we have been gifted this amazing life and we have a choice about how we are going to live it. Let me help you live your best life.  

I started this journey roughly 20 years ago and over this time with everything I have learnt I have developed a program and way of working that encourages and inspires people to live their best life.

Make the most of now…  

Tana

12 August 2017

Imagine living the life you want to be living?

Do you remember when you were a kid, and you had no fear? Or a time in your life where you just did things without thinking. Your parents may have not liked it, but you didn’t care.  

As you got older, those things you did without fear, started to get less and less.  

The opportunities to do something as an adult without thinking, might not be as risky as they were when you were a kid. Now it might be thinking about whether or not you have time to catch up with a friend, or go watch a movie, or go and spend a day at the beach, simply because you can.  

You started thinking about what other people thought, what would happen if you hurt yourself, or got caught. And you are now thinking about security, you have a safe job, so you don’t want to risk that, plus a family, you have to be able to support and provide for them, and don’t forget that you are tired, so it is much easier to do nothing.  

You need to think about everything you do, and there is no way you can possibly do it without thinking.  

But, the biggest deterrent of all, is that you started thinking that you might not actually be able to do it, and so you stopped trying.  

The more your life goes on, each time you have had the opportunity to do something without thinking about the outcomes, and you said no for whatever reason, you made it that little bit harder on yourself, to say yes the next time an opportunity presented itself.  

Then MS happened.  

All of a sudden, any opportunities you thought you had, have disappeared altogether, and you are stuck in a life that you don’t want to be living, and that carefree kid has long gone.  

Your days of climbing, jumping, throwing, rolling and making a spectacular crash landing might be over in your head, but the truth is, they are actually still there, when you are ready for them.  

What if you could start doing more for yourself, and bring back some of those carefree feelings you had as a child?  

I am here to tell you it is all possible, even the crash landing if you are up for it, and with MS, that is probably more likely than not.  

I want you to start living the life you should be living, and while an element of fear is ok, you shouldn’t let it stop you from living the life you want to be living.  

If you are ready to start living a life on purpose, and get back your joy for life, I am ready to help, guide, and support you, all the way through.  

Isn’t it time you started living again.  

Tana  

8 August 2017

Is it time to turn your life around?  

I love feedback, so if you ever have anything to say about one of my emails, it might be how you felt after reading it, you might have agreed or disagreed with something, or you tried something I suggested and want more help. Whatever it is, I would love to hear from you.  

The aim of my last email, was to suggest that when you are diagnosed with MS, it can be quite difficult to think about life in a positive way. It can be easy to think that life would be much better, or greener, if I didn’t have MS.  

Well, I am here to share my experience, and you get to decide if what I have to say is beneficial or not for you.  

We are all on different journeys in life, I decided I wanted to share my experience in order to be able to help others in a similar position to me, and see that life can be so much more amazing than we ever thought possible, with MS.  

Before MS, I was overweight, doing plenty of things I shouldn’t have been doing, and was completely without direction in life. Then MS came knocking.  

Yes I went through the emotions you will have gone through, and I was exactly that person who thought the grass was way greener on the other side, that if I didn’t have MS, life would be so much better.  

It wasn’t! I was so out of control that I really do believe MS saved my life.  

I didn’t want it, but now needed to learn how to live a full life with it.  

Once I came back to reality, learned a little more about MS, and decided I was going to write my own story in life, I made some serious changes to get back to actually living my life with MS.  

This wasn’t just a one hit wonder, I have had to re-shape, and rediscover my life several times since being diagnosed. First it was eating healthy, getting fit, and giving myself more time.  

Later in life and in more recent years, it was recognising what was causing my relapses, and identifying my marriage as a massive red flag in my life. After pulling myself, and my kids out of that marriage, and getting good at setting up boundaries in my life, I have been 3 years relapse free.  

I still have times of exhaustion, but I now know how to manage it, and I have an awesome support network, including a loving partner, who is actually there for me when I need help. Please note, I am extremely independent, so it has taken a lot of work on myself, to actually ask for help, and accept it. I still find it hard, but it is nice that others want to help, and can see the benefit for everyone if I am given some me time, allowing me more energy for normal everyday tasks.  

Back to my previous post, yes the grass can look greener on the other side, but I decided, I have MS, so I am going to make the grass, and the life I have right now, on this side of the fence, the best damn life I can make it.  

If my MS relapses come on or get worse, then I will know I have lived each and every day to the best of my ability, helping others with MS see that life really is worth living, and I know I have the best loving family, friends and support network around me, all because of the decisions I have made.  

Here's to your health and success.  

Tana

6 August 2017

Is the Grass Actually Greener On the Other Side?  

Once you have been diagnosed with MS, you wonder about all the things you haven’t done in life, or all the things you want to do.  

My question to you is this, Is the Grass Actually Greener On The Other Side?  

For you, the grass might be doing something adventurous, or it might be your work, your relationship, or possibly where you are living.  

You might be thinking, a new job, new relationship, or a new city to live in, or jumping out of a plane, that will make the difference, then I will be happy.  

Does that sound familiar?  

If you did go to the other side, how did it work out for you?  

I’m definitely not saying don’t do it, by all means go and try different things, but before you go, think about this.  

Can the grass actually be greener on this side of the fence, the side you are on currently?  

I agree, it may not look the best at the moment, and it is going to be hard work to get it green again. It might be tired from being stepped on too many times, and completely run down, especially now that you have MS, but does that mean you need to leave it for what looks to be greener on the other side.  

Here’s a little inside knowledge for you.  

Unless you know how to keep the grass green right where you are, then there is every chance that the grass on the other side of the fence, is going to look exactly the same as where you are right now, soon after you arrive.  

That sounds a little depressing doesn’t it, especially when it looks sooo green from this side of the fence, and so inviting.  

Unfortunately the shine will wear off the new job, you will have long forgotten about jumping out of a plane, the new relationship will feel like the last one, and the new city you escaped to, well, it just doesn’t feel right does it. And believe me, I have tried it.  

After much practice, I realised that until I did the necessary work on me, then it didn’t matter what I did. After the initial excitement, I soon discovered I was feeling exactly the same as I had prior to coming to the greener side.  

So what do you do about it?  

How do you make sure your grass is green right where you are, allowing you the ability to make a decision about whether or not you should stay put, perhaps with some changes, or go to the other side.  

Take a look at your life, not just your job, or relationship, but look at what makes up your life. Family, friends, what activities do you enjoy, are you adventurous, etc, go over all areas of your life and look at what your life look like right now, how do you actually show up in each area.  

When you were diagnosed with MS, and you feel like you are at your lowest point, it seems like trying to get back to being you, and being ‘normal’ is nearly impossible.  

Yet it really only takes a few small changes in your life to realise that YOU have been there all along. You might now have MS, but all you needed to do was simply blow off a layer of dust, add some water, and get your grass green right where you are.  

For me it was getting myself mentally fit, and making sure I had the ability to make decisions from a healthy frame of mind.  

When I started working on me, which meant making sure my fitness was good, I was eating healthy meals, I was present when I was with my kids, I had a good relationship with my family and friends, and I was doing the work necessary on myself, consistently, to make sure I maintained a healthy mindset, and outlook on life. I made sure my adventurous side was taken care of, as well as making sure I was nurturing myself through meditation, time in nature, and taking the time to be mindful in my normal every day activities.  

What it will be for you might be completely different to me, but taking the time to find out what you need for you, is well worth the investment, and may save a good deal of frustration, and potentially heartache.  

When you have the grass green on the side of the fence you are on currently, only then are you in the position mentally to decide what your next move is.  

Isn’t it time you started living life on your terms.  

Tana

2 August 2017

The Chicken or The Beef Learn these 3 steps to making your everyday decisions easier.  

Do you have trouble making decisions?  

Once you have been diagnosed with MS, everything seems to be that much harder, even when you’re having a good day. I remember trying to choose between the chicken and the beef as if my life depended on it.  

When it comes to decisions you need to make on a regular basis, you can make your life so much easier by learning how to make them, quickly and easily, and conserve your energy for the days you need it most.  

As human beings, we are very good at exhausting ourselves by needing to make the same decisions over and over again, whether you have MS or not.  

Do you find yourself debating with your own mind, about every decision you need to make?  

What do I need to get ready for the kids, clothes, food, school, what clothes should I wear, what time should I leave, where do I park, what should I eat, I need to catch up with, what am I going to do for dinner, what are we doing on the weekend, I need to book the dentist, doctor, hairdresser, and now I need to pee, I might get the kids lunches ready first.  

Do you wonder why you might now have a relapse when you look at that list, and realise you have made so many decisions before you are even close to the front door.  

Have a look at your day, and see if you notice yourself doing it.  

We exhaust ourselves by following this process day in, and day out.  

When it comes time to make a big decision, or you need enough mental space to realise that you need to be resting, you either can’t make the decision, or you keep pushing, and doing, and exhausting yourself physically, as well as mentally.  

It’s not because we didn’t want to make a decision, but because we didn’t have the mental energy to actually make a decision.  

It is far easier to do what we have always done, and continue to make the same decisions every day, rather than to try and save time by making smarter decisions, or to have your own system in place to make decisions easier.  

If you want to give yourself a chance of being able to make clear decisions, and to leave room for bigger decisions or opportunities, then set yourself up for a successful decision making week with preparation.  

Try following these 3 steps, and see what difference they make to your week.  

1. Chunk It To make decision making a little easier on yourself, especially for the smaller everyday decisions, try and make them in one chunk, i.e. plan your meals for the week ahead on the weekend, and even plan your rest time and exercise time ahead of time. Save some energy for the bigger decisions you will need to make during the week.  

2. Make Decisions Early We are much better at making decisions earlier in the day, when we are rested. So if you know you have bigger decisions to make, do it early to try and avoid making a poor decision. You might also need to make a decision that you need a rest day or two, or a week of sleeping in. Do what you need to, but make a decision to do it. Even if it means changing your plans.  

3. Give Yourself a Time Deadline With every decision, you need to work through a number of possibilities. Give yourself a deadline to allow you time to work through certain decisions, i.e. relationship issues, trying to live in a new location, settling into a new job, or working with a new manager. You might need a few weeks, or 3, 6 or 12 months. Do what you need to, and then make a clear decision once that date arrives. And the hardest part, is actually sticking to that date.  

You can try these tips immediately, and start to feel more energy and less stressed right now. Remember you have been making these decisions for a long time, so changing your routine will be hard at first, but with practice, you will notice the benefit.  

Changing the course of your life can happen by making a decision. What will you decide?  

Tana

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